It was a normal day.
My sons debated over who played basketball the best. The controversy became unbearable, so I suggested they all go to the gym to decide. As dad walked them out the door groomed with their best basketball attire, I felt a tinge of unworthiness.
One of my daughters sat on the floor and played with her new puppies. They ran in circles and barked with joy as their new owner lavished love on them. As she frolicked with her sweeties, my heart sank because I didn’t feel deserving of such a moment.
My other daughter labored over pre-algebra at the table and worked hard to get each problem right. She diligently practiced each equation and studied her notes to learn. As I sat next to her to work on the math, I felt unfit for such an opportunity.
I had been battling a nasty virus for a while. My body ached, head hurt, congestion filled up my nose and ears. I hadn’t felt well, so I took my prescribed medicine and rested as much as I could. That day as I needed rest, I made myself get out of bed-sick and all- to clean the house; all because of guilt.
I know that I should’ve responded with more maturity.
I know that guilt, feeling unfit, unworthy and not deserving are lies from the enemy. I know they should never have any place in my heart; but that day they came against me in a rough way.
I really had been having a hard time with the certitude that my life is amazing while others suffer. I wasn’t sleeping well. I couldn’t even enjoy my meals.
A numbness surrounded me. My mind kept wandering. It traveled then and now to the places where innocent children lose their innocence.
I feel burdened for the children who are enslaved.
According to the Global Slavery Index, one in four of the 40.3 million slaves today are children.
Since the Dominican Republic is the most visited tourist spot in the Caribbean, it has become a known location for sex tourism. The unfortunate reality is that many of these tourists have an appetite for children.
We were recently approached by the largest anti-sex trafficking organization for children. They wanted us to take in children for them. They have done an amazing job at rescuing children and understand that rescued lives need restoration and hope. In doing their due diligence to place these children, they reached out to us.
Many know that we moved to the Dominican Republic with every intention to start a children’s home. When we leaned towards that direction, God led us to plant churches first. Church planting will always be our main focus. We need churches in order to bring true transformation in this world. Our churches provide vital resources within our communities and train leaders to work within special aspects of our ministry as well.
This is why we are sure that now is the time to begin our home for children.
I’m realizing today, more than ever, that I was born for this.
When I gave my life to Jesus twenty-six years ago, I knew that I was born for that moment. When I married my husband, I knew that I was born for that occasion. With each new pregnancy, I knew that I was born to mother. When I accepted God’s call to ministry, I knew that I was born to expand His kingdom.
Today, I add another notch to my long list of destinies-ABOLITIONIST. Like Harriet Tubman, my all time favorite historical figure, I too will take a part in the rescue of enslaved ones.
As I prepared for bed after battling with guilt, God reminded me of my power to let go of the shame that tried so hard to cloud my soul. He showed me how my amazing life is His will for us all. He desires for mankind to have abundant lives.
I choose not to take the fact that my sons and their dad can play together for granted. I appreciate that my little girl can enjoy her pets and that my other daughter has the opportunity to acquire an extraordinary education. I’m privileged to have medicine readily available and the ability to rest when I’m sick.
I appreciate every little tiny thing about my life.
The normalcy of my life is good to God. It’s what He wants for us all. Now, it’s time to bring that kind of life to children who may not otherwise experience this reality.
It’s time to build the children’s home on HOPE Mountain.